its not always rainbows and butterflies, its compromise that moves us along;


if only life is like this :)

i want to
* finish revision and homework so i dont have to keep thinking about it ):
* have a nice day of what-i-want-to-do out, from sunrise to sunset.
* keep dancing with the people i love to dance with
* stop being so tired and stressed, period.
sometimes i wish i can put aside all the cares of the world, the obligations, the expectations, the responsibilities and alllll of them, to do what i want to do, and be the happiest i can be. but how? there are times i feel so restrained and deprived, life can turn so much into a chore.

slow to anger
it feels terrible when you hear people say things that hurt one another when they are angry. i think silence is the safest way to express anger and the best way to contain it. keeping silent allows me to reflect on why i got angry in the first place, and most of the time id realise how much the matter did not reckon a fight at all. the decision to give in is seldom regrettable, as compared to hurting someone when you didnt mean to. its not nice realising thereafter that you could have resolved the matter amicably, or that what you have lost in the process of releasing anger is greater than what you could have gained from winning the argument.

the Rape of Nanking(1937) is awfully disturbing.
the more i read on about the most inhumane deeds i have ever imagined one man could do to another, the more i felt it was tearing a part of me- both as a woman and a human. if its any of my business, i dont think i'll ever have the capacity to forgive those beastly people. considering their atrocities, i can only respond with utmost contempt.

rah. disgusting sh*t
GOODNIGHT HUMANS


replies to tags
kevin: haha kid sounds so kiddish, youre already 17! haha go work at icecreamchef okay? then i'll get free icecream yayyyy. haha how was prom??
sworn: yozzerr youuu :D haha study hard for REs! then i can see one more happy face during dance camp :) im sure you wont miss the fun. so proud of you, you take LIT!
norman: haha thanks normannn for you brard ah. but nvm, you cant annoy me this week yayyy :D plus one cell mtg okay! ha. rmb to teach me how to eat dance moves!
matt: nobody says the world will definitely end in 2012! haha but ya, so sad if it does cos you wont even have enough time to let your hair grow back to die a handsome death HAHAHAHAHA. omg im so amused by myself. anyways i want the videooooos :D :D :D
pearleen: eeee you and norman and the rest of the cell gang up one. nvm i ask PAULAAAA to be my kao shan wahaha. i dont want to become like joel >: (
lili: thanks for advertising me, im so flattered. you are a very pretty, capable and responsible groupmate as well!! anw...LONDON bridge is falling down! hahaha nah kidding:D dont get H1N1, if not i'll have to wear mask the next time i see you hahahahahaha. wonder if youre seeing this from london. TAG IF YOU ARE!

what if its lost behind words we could never find,

it's annoying to feel stressed when the holidays have just begun. & it has come to a point where that doesnt sound ironic anymore. i wonder if humans are just borned to do things we dont really want to do.

anyway, OP is finally over yay :D

THANKGOD for my wonderful groupmates.
i think i ought to feel blessed that throughout the pw term, we never had to deal with strained ties between groupmates :) not really, at least. no quarrel, no hatred, no i-just-cant-work-with-you. all the hardwork and finally-over certainly calls for a celebration, yayyy.


Twenty-Twelve!

caught this movie with lebb, yang and joel ytd evening! i think it was the first time i sat in the cinema for so long- 2.5hours- better be some good stuff right.
all the action kind of started pretty early, but the real action began from the second half of the movie. the initial parts were so ultra unrealistic i didnt like it. but it got better, and the ending was rather satisfatory, shall not be a spoiler. but honestly, the real apocalypse isnt gonna turn out the way it did in the movie, so whats with all the scary talk about end of the world. this reminds me of noah's ark (like evan's almighty, just a less comical version), if not poseidon.

-
just some thoughts-
should a church be made up of an orchestra of flawless holy saints, or simply a bunch of vulnerable imperfect humans crying out to a Holy God?
i was reminded of the song Stained Glass Masquerade- are we people who look so strong because we have walls around our weakness, and smiles to hide our pain. maybe beneath all that looking good and nice, we are broken and so imperfect. perhaps we are even afraid to let others know some of our thoughts, sins and failures. but God never demanded us to be strong and perfect before Him, He has always known who we are, and He loves us for that. i used to want to be the strong and good girl whenever i come before Him, but i realised i never needed to be strong before my Father. its like how i know if i come running back to my daddy no matter how terrible a daughter i am, his arms would be waiting wide opened.
in the bible, God didnt choose the best, strongest, biggest, prettiest people to fulfil his purpose; they only became great because God chose them, and they obeyed. in the same way, i dont think we have to be holy and awesome people for us to come before God, or to live for Him. it is after we decide to live for Him and be used for His kingdom, that God can make us His holy church.


dancedancedance later :D
signing off!

replies to tags!
joy: haha HELLO joylynnpehisinnewzealandddd. :D you must be having fun there, then i wouldnt be able to see you even after you come back ): you better help me to make my blog lively when im overseas!
sworn: YEAA chelsea ownsssss manutd! :D haha notbad, we share 2 things in common- dancing and CHELSEA! ha. tell me how your reexams were :)
pearleen: :D
norman: haha yeaaa i think youre just anal, final. HAHA it rhymes!
lili: ya its something badddd, so i shall not tell you! later you get angry haa. anyways thanks for the song, see it already made it into my blog post (first line) hahaha :) even though i haven listened to it=.= just went to check its lyrics.
kevin: why do you like to call yourself kid? zz. anyways yea PROM is gonna be so fun right! haha i kind of liked my prom night last year :) but im not sure if its equally exciting for guys, cos you guys dont really care about dressing up and making up right.. anyways, go work in an icecreamshop!
amy: haha EHHH cannot! i can foresee how stressed i will be next year, so youre supposed to be a damn nice friend (in NZ) and encourage me and tell me i can do it with God's help and pray for me everynight and not laugh at me ): i'll ignore you if you do, and you'll lose a pretty friend before you even attempt to forget me. HA. bring me some nice food from NZ leii!
yuhding: yea i know it was chelsea what :) anyways whatsup with your life, haven been catching up with you for a looongloonng time. hope OP was fine for you!

VICTORY AT STAMFORD BRDIGE
whats happening: Chelsea vs Manutd
i decided its not fun talking to church ppl about soccer cos i'll just get victimised and bombarded by all the aggressive avid MUFC fans, not fair. so guys, watch this
FULL TIME 1-0 :)

3(h)ours of summer was pretty cool, although i regret not camwhoring ): technically i only took a few snapshots with huiqing (who else right). but i liked the ambience, some of the music and chubby bunny was so funny.

& thankyou liliiii for if you could see me now. surprise surprise. now i have an awesome lovely book to read, one down from my holiday wishlist.


let me rant
1. i hate irresponsible smokers. okay i know people who smoke arent exactly supposed to be responsible in the first, but there is just a subset of these people who like to make things worse- for others. was at the newton mrt bus stop, waiting for a bus back to school when i met this awful person who decided to just leave his half-smoked cigarette on top of the dustbin before rushing off to board his bus. so what happens when someone does that, is that the cigarette would be left to burn on its own until the very last flake of tobacco turns into ashes, and the smoke keeps coming out and stinking up the entire bus stop, and people at the bus stop would fall innocently into passive smoking. the smell was unbearable.

2. some people can be plain insensitive and annoying. for some unexplanable insecurity reasons, they would always want to comment on people's flaws. like come on, nobody is perfect. and that means you live with others' imperfections and not constantly point them out and put them in their faces to make yourself feel superior. and just because they dont tell you about your flaws does not mean you are awesome, or even just better. talk about being encouraging/edifying. people who gain self-confidence by putting others down should just go get a life.

-
come to think of it, im probably suffering from mild ocd.
or rather, according to 09S77 and mr liw, its called anal -
oops, bad influences.

k goodnight world.
CHELSEAAAAA!!


replies to tags :D
kevin: HELLO! how are your exams coming along? its ending soon ya :D andand, yea i know im blessed i dont have to take Os. we had our own end-of-year exams but i guess it wasnt as stressful as compared to if i were to sit for Olvls. but oh well, we all have to work very hard anyway :) you'll be freed soon.
amy: haha yea somebody has an accent, and cant get used to singapore's weather already righttt ): adapt so quickly you'll probably forget me soon! haha. cant wait for you to get back, steel :) i will enjoy seeing you have a hard time catching up with all that has happened here.
youre done with exams right?!
pearleen: haha no i didnt say my yangcheng, i said my yangcheng friend.. see, thats why CET teaches us the importance of reading the bible in context. applies to language in general ya :)
lili: haha i kind of expected you to tag!!! you silent (avid) reader of my blog. its okay if you din get the pun, i rather you dontttt haha. thanks for the boooook :)
norman: i suspect your secret hobby is to annoy me! D:
joylynn: omg i'll miss youuuuuu.
matt: HA im really cool right thankyouverymuch. and yay chelsea won matthew, chelsea won!! :D go join the popping battle! i wont be embarrassed to tell ppl youre my friend, i'll carry posters and cheer for you :D :D
junan: yaa your name is not unique lor! haha, but the person is la okay. dont say im not a good friend. :) ya thank God we're done with WR. OP OP OP. I WANNA DANCE FOR ARES FAC OUTING ):
caleb: KPOOP! haha. yeaaaa we're gonna own pw like chelsea own manutd WOOHOO :D anyways, rmb to pray up for our OP!!!

HELLO EVERYONE :D

there's no good reason as to why im not updating this space as often as i should. im sorry :/ but yup, life has been much more exciting. :)

THANK GOD
i think without God, im nothing. it didnt take me long to learn this from the bible, but it did for me to learn this from life. maybe even right now i haven fully realised the meaning of being nothing, but i know that i am something only because God has decided to let me be. it was more than recognising my need for God when im at my lowest, but realising how much more i actually need Him in the good times, even when everything's well.
i thank God for His faithfulness in my walk with Him, in my studies and in my family. :D


VOLLEYBALL
ive been getting my hands back onto the volleyball lately. it feels quite good playing the sport again, apart from the heat. i rmb how we used to train indoors in high school. anyways, i think i got slightly tanner ): very bad. FOS was great, had alot of fun, had nice teammates, had my ex-teammies playing for their own other facs. :)


DANCE
yay anan is back again :D dance practice with anan serves as a tremendous motivation to my life. & this week's choreo is one of my favourites! :D dance dance dance dance. what is life without danceeeeeee.


MOOVIES
interesting quotes from the movies ive watched this month keep swimming in my head. i feel like putting my favourite one (from 500days of summer) up here but i cant rmb the exact way its phrased, and i cant find it online ):


FACULTY BREAKFAST!
yellow like apollo <3!
my yellow class! 09S77


my yellow bestfriend! (pun intended)

-
looking forward to:
apollo fac outing
OP to be over, and (well) done with
more danceeee
where rainbows end

why cant we drink water on the mrt ): pls enlighten me.
kthxbai

replies to tags:
sworn: yozzer yozzer yozzer :D project X was good right! haha. but im a tad bit disappointed with the lastforone performance ): honestly i expected it to be more imba. anyways, cont to study hard! (i know its a bore) dont give up k :D you can do itzxzxz! study like you break :D
kev: HEYY how's your O lvls coming along? i shudnt hope to see your reply anytime soon. keep going! our awesome GOD is with you ya, keep prayinggg :D
yang: haha i was asking you if you went out with lebb & joel! anyways, I MISS ICC ): my chocolate hersheys + horlicks+ marshmallow. its v fun talking with you. dinner soooon :D
pearleen: what, i think it promotes self-centredness! only business minded ppl like you can be so very enthusiastic about it. ha. and thanks for being so helpful for the bcm cellgrp :)
norman: did you say i can ttly make a miss singapore?? thats like a very subtle way of telling me i look pretty right thankyouvmuchnormanwongmunjoon :) (i refuse to acknowledge the intellect part)
amy: are you sure youre studying very hard now, like youre supposed to?! pls dont decide not to come back okay ): ): dont be troubled my dearrrr. everything will be fine, just keep fixing your eyes on God!
junan: haha jun an! no la that yangcheng is from church :) anyways its quite complicated cos my yangcheng friend also has a junan friend whom i know! haha.
joy: you LOL for whatzxz. anyways i have something for you tmr! say yay ~~ :D

let me see what spring is like on Jupiter and Mars-


ive been reminding myself to settle the more impt stuffs, like PW, before i update my blog. but sometimes you just cant help but get your hands into more interesting business. well im not saying pw is uninteresting :) the concept of relativity explains.

FRIDAY!
was alot of fun. went back to ny for lunch, i miss good food at reasonable prices. then we danced and danced and played bball and vball :D although i think ive lost touch with volleyball, and being the only girl on court felt funny sometimes, i had alotalot of fun. that was not all because we had a lovely session during cell :)


PICTURES!

:D

L-O-V-E <3!


friendship in full circle- everlasting.


i dont know why, i feel so much busier after promos. now its a different kind of stress.
this is life :/
goodnight earthlings!

replies to tags-
caleb: YOZZER! exams are over :) haha jiayou for pwwwww! and lets stop making fun of ris low, i sympathise with her.
norman: haha thanks for your kind advice, i decide i shall stop using her words:D todays video was so bad. you look like a flasher in it. HAHA.
amy: :D :D :D haha counting down! eh plsplspls study for your EXAM first okay? dont be too excited/affected. must do well overseas, and SHINE for God! :D
pearleen: HELLO PEARLEEN welcome back! haha eh im sorry im not v good at tending your farm, i tried my best. to kill weeds and worms and steal ppl's fruits. i still dont think happy farm helps cultivate good values, it promotes selfishness! haha.
matthew: project X is project X:D haha. yay tuesdayyy :)
yuhding: THANKS for loling! haha got gf already then come niao me la huhhuhhuh.
sworn: haha thanks for your encouragement:D but i promise i'll be Massively Exceedingly Awesomely Nice, from now on. brace yourself!
yueling: eee why do i owe you a post! >: ( haha you were also being retarded okay, dancing SORRYSORRY hahahaha. so glad to see you have GROWN. :) big (cute) girl!
kevin: haha no laa its God's grace and blessing upon me. im not as intelligent as you think i am. and i didnt do well for higher chinese until i took the Olvl HCL paper haha. thank God! dont be dishearten, just keep working hard, God will honor your effort:D project X is a dance concert :)

if your troubles break your stride, my love will get you home


I CANT exactly describe how i feel now. :/
theres like an intense urge to run free now that promos are over. only held back by pw and manymanymany other stuffs on the list. since when have post-exam periods become so trying. cant seem to get all the responsibilities off my mind. even when im playing, the feeling's all wrong.

& i know my mind subconsiously reminds me about the promo papers. like omgg stoppp ittttt the uncertainty overwhelms me. j said "i thought you said you're gonna leave the rest to God, now gonna take it back ah?" -no i dont want to take it back. you never leave someone who gives you the greatest security, an unchanging being in an ever-changing world.

-
SABBATICALS for the past two days have been great. great because it was dance and nothing else. i felt tired after 7h of dance, but nothing beats the feeling of grooving to the music, it awakens something inside of me. fusion hiphop with yutaki was awesomeee and so was street jazz, but i think i prefer hiphop, steel. on a side note, im going for Project X on the 26th, theres Last For One :) im so sure they're gonna boomz the stage yayyyyy. (its a bboy crew by the way)

-
THIS FEELS like a beautiful dream, so beautiful its surreal.
cant catch hold
its like a beautiful dream, and the end is coming


; goodbye world.

cassy shiing jessie liying cherie lili <3

YOZZER WOZZER :D

helloeverybodyintheworldpromosareoverandimreallyveryhappy, THANK GOD :D

the past many weeks have been challenging and meaningful- weeks of knowing more about myself and drawing closer to God. it was like a journey of learning about attitudes and priorities, embracing responsibilities and people, recognizing my flaws and God's holiness. im glad it was a journey of relying on God, rather than pure mugging and charging towards promos like its everything. awesome God!

&& also would like to thank the many ppl who encouraged me along the way, at times i really needed it. those smses/IMs/tags :) thankyou!

09oct09
went out with my favourite people after the last paper! :D
to orchard for lunch & arcade & 500days of summer & neopweens & donuts at ION :)

HELPPP ):

MORNING :D

i enjoy the feeling of waking up on a weekday morning, and getting out of the comfort of my bed knowing theres only breakfast & the tv waiting right outside :) in comparison to dragging my feet out of bed on usual mornings, this seems to be a luxury.

everyones coming up with their own What-I-Shall-Do-After-Promos List. not that im a conformist, but just the thought of it sets my mind into a state of excitement, so here goes my own brand of pre-promos-comfort anyway :)

1. DANCE dance dance dancee
2. stayovers!
3. read an awesome, lovely book
4. BAKE
5. the beach, the sea and the sun
6. cycling
7. then hit the malls :)

the other day caleb and i were talking on the bus and our conversation arrived at the topic of orientation. indeed it feels like orientation was just a couple of weeks ago- the sodache sessions, wargames and faculty dance. & before we fully realise it, half of our college life has passed. im not sure if it has been fulfilling for me, perhaps not. maybe its time to appreciate even more the remaining time in hc!



august last year


before amy left


august this year!


& lastly,

my clique i miss!
(wheres fly!)

time to STUDY HARD!

REPLIES
norman: haha yea, not a bad thing means it may be a good thing :) but then again, they dont have to mean the same thing. its like something which is not bad, is not necessarily good. HOWS THAILAND :D sawatdeekaaa
joy: haha you also so late then msg me, like 3plus?! HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYYY :)
kevin: yea, blame singapore for being so meritocratic haha. jiayou, God is with you alwaysss :)
pearleen: haha i gave them already :) im so jealous you're working at the F1, feeling all the adrenalin rush, while i drown myself in piles of notes.
matt: yayy can see again! haha. all the best for promos tooooo :)
yueling: alright, if i ever go back to nanyang (for lunch) i'll msg you! haha i miss your snoopy face.
joel: i<3bnj! haha ANYWAYS i hope you had supper LAST NIGHT! see after promos we can icecreamchef together:D
amy: haha hows school work! you seem to be managing really well there even though there are hiccups along the way. proud of you girl! :) COME BACK SOON! after my pw op, we can go party~
junan: yup i know :) thankyou bobo, always appear so retarded outside but you can be such a caring and sensible friend. :)
caleb: kpoop! haha. thanks ma goodest buddy :) je vous apprecie.

feeling really jaded in school,
deprived and restricted.
all the things i want to do

):

someone bring me some balloons and take me on a walk.


for all that youve done for me
this love song i'll sing

cant wait for life to get more meaningful than this.
turning in,


REPLIES!
joy: haha yay i posted :) miss youuu. catch up right after examzxzxz!
amy: HELLO! haha eh im so touched youre the first on my fb wall to say happybirthday:D bu kui shi wo de hao peng you. anyways, i went out with lebb and gang to celebrate debbie's and my bday, then sunday went out with cell and family:D
yang: haha yeaaa i see me too! haha hope youre safe over there :) we can have dinner after you come back!
norman: im seldom on your team, not that its a bad thing anyway. :)
kevin: haha dont stress! actually i also v stressed la, but its alright we have GOD:D and thankyou kevin!
pearleen: huh what got timee? haha, im gonna keep all the presents to myself :P
yueling: oh nooo youre so my lovely adorable little junior :) i want to see you soon too. when i go back to ny, i'll give you a call!
matt: HELLO!:D matthew can you see now? can you can you? haha. dont mug then will die la ):
sworn: haha yea TODAYYY yaaa. haha. stop slacking! (and macing late at night!)

Welcome :D

*blog-credits: Debbie*

CHERIE ;

20sept
hci
bethelYA
dance

JESUS, MY SUPERHERO!
living with your promise written on my heart

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